It's just one day after my birthday and my mood actually took a 180 degrees turn. Feeling pretty down now because of my family and my studies. Wanted to study for my prelims on tue today but didnt touch anything at all. Woke up for tuition early this morning and went to fix my car up at noon. Had lunch with qing's parents in the afternoon followed (within few hours) by dinner with my own parents. Somehow, i dont know how to turn the offer down. It's not because of the good food (sakae sushi for lunch and no signboard for dinner), but because they are people senior to me and wanted to celebrate my bday. The thought of havnt even started for tue prelims kept bugging me so i didnt really enjoy the food. MOreover, im super full already, so anything that went into my mouth just tasted awful. feeling horribly bloated right now. Then when i came home, i lost the drive to study totally. I know i have to but i just cant get myself to start. I lack motivation i guess...I felt worst as the seconds ticked away. Argh...
Next, i have to talk about family. Today my sis and my dad quarrel. Apparently, my sis dial some 1900 nos. for the handphone thingy and the bill came up to 50 bucks (which is unusual in this family cause our handphone bills are not suppose to exceed a certain stipulated amount.) Then my dad insisted my sis to pay for it herself but she refuse and wanted to leave the house. They had a big fight and my sis used some vulgar language on my dad. My mum slapped her hard on her back and pushed her out of the house. (all these happened when i was having tuition) I was dumbfounded when i heard all these from my mum an hour ago while we were watching TV together. I cant believe my sis actually did that and of course my mum for being that harsh on her. This is no surprise actions for my mum who is known for her rash actions and probably i should not be surprise as my sis is still not mature enough...furthermore, she can be quite attitude when she wants to. Somehow, i just got more sad when this sank into me. I dont understand why people can take their own family members for granted. Maybe this seems mild to you people reading this blog. I know of FREN. who had worst family problems and also frens who take their family for granted. It just gets on my nerves sometimes. Eg. I dont like people to shout at their own siblings when they are talking to them. Maybe it is normal routine but you might just hurt that person at times when they are not feeling exactly well. If you hit that nerve of them when they are down, it is especially painful. I dont deny shouting at my parents when im exasperated with them but i dont resort to vulgar language of any kind. I tell my self that if i think im going to lose it, just walk away. Never do something you know you will regret for the rest of your life. I was just thinking of how much my parents are sacrificing for me. They scrape and save just to buy me a car. They pinch here and there just to give me a better life. Everyday they come back from work, no matter how tired they are, they take the clothes out and fold them, iron them. Who dont want to sit down in front of the TV or com to chill out after a day of hard work. I think most people reading this have tasted the tiredness/sianess of work. It gets to you, it really does. Try coming home and sweep the floor instead of watching the TV. Try waking up an hour earlier every morning to put the clothes into the washing machine to wash and hang them. Make breakfast while your kids are snoring away in bed. Things that we dont see do no mean they dont happen. They do and that's why we should appreciate our parents more. I think im not that mature cause i still cannot make myself help out with the house hold chores when i have the free time. I will rather surf the net alittle longer or watch some dumb shows a little longer. All these things they do and we end up being rebellious. I understand that we have our rights to feel frustrated when we think they do not understand us. Eg when we ask for money (young that time), the parents refuse to budge. Is it because they cannot afford that few dollars? No, it's because they dont want us to think that money can be obtain just by stretching our hands. They want us to LEARN. how to plan the use of our money because that's what we NEED to to in the future. Im utterly sadden by my sister's actions (no matter how mild they might seem to you). To me, so long as you are rude, so long as you cross the line, you are at fault. i know all of you know that we take family members for granted. But have you ask yourself, why then do you still do it. You may say you cant help it. Okie, then look at yourself from a third perons's view. Can you see how disgustingly childish you are. You are telling me you know what to do but cant help but do it. Only a child can use that as an excuse.
I dont know how to release my frustrations now, especially when i have to force myself to the table to start studying. Time's ticking away but i hope this blog can be my outlet so i can resume my life. Lets just be nice to each other. especially our family members...
Next, i have to talk about family. Today my sis and my dad quarrel. Apparently, my sis dial some 1900 nos. for the handphone thingy and the bill came up to 50 bucks (which is unusual in this family cause our handphone bills are not suppose to exceed a certain stipulated amount.) Then my dad insisted my sis to pay for it herself but she refuse and wanted to leave the house. They had a big fight and my sis used some vulgar language on my dad. My mum slapped her hard on her back and pushed her out of the house. (all these happened when i was having tuition) I was dumbfounded when i heard all these from my mum an hour ago while we were watching TV together. I cant believe my sis actually did that and of course my mum for being that harsh on her. This is no surprise actions for my mum who is known for her rash actions and probably i should not be surprise as my sis is still not mature enough...furthermore, she can be quite attitude when she wants to. Somehow, i just got more sad when this sank into me. I dont understand why people can take their own family members for granted. Maybe this seems mild to you people reading this blog. I know of FREN. who had worst family problems and also frens who take their family for granted. It just gets on my nerves sometimes. Eg. I dont like people to shout at their own siblings when they are talking to them. Maybe it is normal routine but you might just hurt that person at times when they are not feeling exactly well. If you hit that nerve of them when they are down, it is especially painful. I dont deny shouting at my parents when im exasperated with them but i dont resort to vulgar language of any kind. I tell my self that if i think im going to lose it, just walk away. Never do something you know you will regret for the rest of your life. I was just thinking of how much my parents are sacrificing for me. They scrape and save just to buy me a car. They pinch here and there just to give me a better life. Everyday they come back from work, no matter how tired they are, they take the clothes out and fold them, iron them. Who dont want to sit down in front of the TV or com to chill out after a day of hard work. I think most people reading this have tasted the tiredness/sianess of work. It gets to you, it really does. Try coming home and sweep the floor instead of watching the TV. Try waking up an hour earlier every morning to put the clothes into the washing machine to wash and hang them. Make breakfast while your kids are snoring away in bed. Things that we dont see do no mean they dont happen. They do and that's why we should appreciate our parents more. I think im not that mature cause i still cannot make myself help out with the house hold chores when i have the free time. I will rather surf the net alittle longer or watch some dumb shows a little longer. All these things they do and we end up being rebellious. I understand that we have our rights to feel frustrated when we think they do not understand us. Eg when we ask for money (young that time), the parents refuse to budge. Is it because they cannot afford that few dollars? No, it's because they dont want us to think that money can be obtain just by stretching our hands. They want us to LEARN. how to plan the use of our money because that's what we NEED to to in the future. Im utterly sadden by my sister's actions (no matter how mild they might seem to you). To me, so long as you are rude, so long as you cross the line, you are at fault. i know all of you know that we take family members for granted. But have you ask yourself, why then do you still do it. You may say you cant help it. Okie, then look at yourself from a third perons's view. Can you see how disgustingly childish you are. You are telling me you know what to do but cant help but do it. Only a child can use that as an excuse.
I dont know how to release my frustrations now, especially when i have to force myself to the table to start studying. Time's ticking away but i hope this blog can be my outlet so i can resume my life. Lets just be nice to each other. especially our family members...
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