This has been one of the longest day in my life. Exam starts tomorrow and i've not gone thru this for the longest time. The kinda feeling i have is rather different from what i used to experience before my previous exams. The feeling of unpreparedness. I hate it.

For the past months, i have been thinking that taking up this SIM scholarship may just be one of the largest mistake in my life. Well, i should be thinking that it is one of the best things that is happening to me. Like a wonderful opportunity to learn, but it hasnt turn out the way it should be. The agonizing learning sessions have made this experience rather awful. The kind of mental will you need to make urself go to lessons after a tiring day at work is incredible. comparable to that of rambo in first blood. But going to all the lessons does not make me a hero. Arts is really not my cup of tea. Still prefer the taste of pure science...like mixing some chemicals here and there, chatting with Newton on his latest law with regards to the most advance aerodynamics is fun. Much more fun than talking to any of the sociologists like emile durkheim or even alvin gouldner. I dont wanna dwell on this any further. I realised that in order to go through this 3 year course. one needs support. And i dun know where i have been drawing my support from thus far, but i sure know that the source is depleting real fast. Feeling weaker and weak, the drowning sensation. the sensation of not being able to Breath. sinking down into the swamp of exam anxiety. the more i struggle, the more i sink.

I stopped struggling when i watched Meet the parents just now. Funny but desperately frightening. I cant picture myself in focker's shoe. Gaylor Focker. wad a nice name.

I am going to brace myself before going to bed tonight. Wish me luck dear frens. Dear lord, pls watch over me.